A mi risueña preferida y la más amada en mi corazón,
I have known a life that is lacking. There has always been something missing in everything I’ve had. I have grown to believe that I am inherently missing a part of me, much like missing a limb; there has always seemed to be a part of me that I was yet to find.
On August 17th, 2024, I had a glimpse of what I was missing. I remember seeing you standing with all the other Pakistanis, yet being unable to take my eyes off you. I was able to shortly after, when you looked at me for the first time and I assumed you hated me (although you were only sleep-deprived).
I got my second glimpse at what I was missing two days later when you sat down across from me in the CUB Ballroom. I was immediately nervous, yet moments later, it felt like you were the only person in the world who existed aside from me.
What followed was a month of complete devotion to you without realizing I was completely devoted to you. I spent every second seeking you out, hoping you would want to see me, and waiting for you to get tired of spending time with me. Without knowing it, you eased every doubt I had. I had never known a love so committed yet so casual, a love that wanted me without making me feel like I was wrong for being wanted.
I looked at you and could not believe you existed. I still doubt it, sometimes. Everything I’ve ever wanted was living 15516 kilometers away from me. The woman of my dreams–extremely intelligent, funny, compassionate, beautiful, and loyal–existed many continents away from me. I assumed my idea of the perfect spouse was nonexistent until I met you.
The day I found out you liked me was extremely surreal. How was it possible that this woman I had spent a month admiring was in love with me, too? Especially a woman I could see myself spending every day with for the rest of my life.
In a world where I cannot even make sense of my own mind, you exist clear as day. Your lovely brown eyes enthrall me, and your soft lips quite literally call to me. Even on my most tired days, I want to wake up to get a glance of you before you go to class. Time spent without you is useless, because why would I live if not with you?
Time has always gone too slowly. I have spent my life anxiously awaiting each day to end, expecting everything to pass extremely slowly. Yet a day with you is reduced to milliseconds as I cannot get enough of you. I dream of manipulating time, living in a world where I could take every second I spent with you and expand it to last an eternity. Even after hypothetically spending countless eternities with you, it would not be enough.
I know that I was born a mortal because it would be unfair to everyone else if I got to spend more than a lifetime with you. It is already unfair that everyone else has to settle for other people. I have won the golden ticket, the perfect girl, my favorite person in the world.
A year later, nothing has changed. You are still the epitome of everything I have ever wanted. I am grateful now and every day that I get to share my life with you.
Happy anniversary, my beloved wife and beautiful girl.
Manu <3